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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals .......very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now . . . .
 
dognero said:
View attachment 116716
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An Indian fella walks into a shop and says "Please I'd like to buy some more cheap John Wayne toilet paper like before".
The shopkeeper says "Never heard of John Wayne toilet paper mate, what's it look like?".
The Indian fella says "Well it rough and it tough and it no take no shit from any Indian"
 
Cornish farmer is stopped by a well dressed gentleman driving the latest Bentley who enquired the best way to London, the farmer answered, take the next left, second right, third exit at the roundabout then follow the signs for the motorway" but before you go, how can you afford a beauty of a car like that, the gentleman explained that he worked for Cunard.
10 minutes later, another car stops, this time a Maserati and again another articulate guy asked the way to London. The farmer gave the directions and asked the same question as before, the answer was the same, "It is because I work for Cunard"
Upon hearing this the farmer responded by saying "I don't understand how you guys can afford such luxuries, I work fucking hard as well but cannot afford to even go to the pub".
 
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