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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)

Sniffer Dog.......

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.

"His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."

The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the Policeman said, "Watch this."

He told Sniffer to "search".

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.

Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm.

The Policeman said, "Good boy", and he turned to the man and said, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land."

"Gee, that's pretty good," replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.

The Policeman said, 'Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'

'I like it!' said his seat mate.

The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to sh!t all over the place.

The first man was disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that. So he asked the Policeman, "What's going on?"

The Policeman replied, "He's just found a bomb."
 
Let's be honest, most of the relationship advisers on the internet are females. The short email conversation below shows however, what would happen if the advisor is a male.


Dear Ken,

My husband and I are married for over ten years now. In the past few months he started to act kind of weird, made and received phone calls and text messages late in the evening, always saying they are from or to work. While I wanted to believe him it still bothered me greatly, thinking he might be cheating on me.

Yesterday morning as usual I kissed him and left to work. My workplace is about a thirty minutes drive. After being on the road for about a mile, my car suddenly just stopped and would not start again. I knew my husband always leave the house for work about an hour after me, so I thought I will just leave my car and ask him to take me to my job. I walked home quickly to get there before he is gone. As soon as I entered the house, I heard some weird noises and giggling from the bedroom. I opened the door and found my husband naked, in bed with a much younger girl. A world collapsed in me, and I am crying since, as I have no idea what to do?

Could you please help me with some advise?

Jessica


Dear Jessica,

First, you need to check your car battery as it is the most common problem that stops a car. Also, worth to check the fuel line as it might be clogged.

Best regards,
Ken
 
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