- Messages
- 60
- Reaction score
- 66
- Points
- 93
- Location
- South Hetton
- First Name
- David and Shari
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert
Because she was stuffed
Because she was stuffed
-
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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)
- Thread starter dognero
- Start date
- Messages
- 1,646
- Reaction score
- 6,423
- Points
- 343
- Location
- Hurn dorset
- First Name
- Shaun
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
- Messages
- 1,646
- Reaction score
- 6,423
- Points
- 343
- Location
- Hurn dorset
- First Name
- Shaun
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
- Messages
- 993
- Reaction score
- 3,533
- Points
- 333
- Location
- Redcar North Yorkshire
- First Name
- George
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Shell surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Shelly .
'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'
'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Shell surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Shelly .
'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'
'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
- Messages
- 16
- Reaction score
- 63
- Points
- 143
- Location
- South Kirkby
- First Name
- Kate
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- Yorkshire
- Messages
- 1,342
- Reaction score
- 3,287
- Points
- 333
- Location
- County durham
- First Name
- Simon
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
- Messages
- 1,342
- Reaction score
- 3,287
- Points
- 333
- Location
- County durham
- First Name
- Simon
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
- Messages
- 91
- Reaction score
- 105
- Points
- 173
- Location
- Highley, Bridgnorth UK
- First Name
- Tony
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- Midlands
As a little boy I Loved my Granddad, I used to call him Spider-Man. 🕸🕷
Not because he was superhuman or anything like that, but because once in...he could never get out of the bath!
Not because he was superhuman or anything like that, but because once in...he could never get out of the bath!
- Messages
- 1,342
- Reaction score
- 3,287
- Points
- 333
- Location
- County durham
- First Name
- Simon
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
- Messages
- 1,646
- Reaction score
- 6,423
- Points
- 343
- Location
- Hurn dorset
- First Name
- Shaun
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
- Messages
- 1,342
- Reaction score
- 3,287
- Points
- 333
- Location
- County durham
- First Name
- Simon
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
- Messages
- 1,342
- Reaction score
- 3,287
- Points
- 333
- Location
- County durham
- First Name
- Simon
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
- Messages
- 1,646
- Reaction score
- 6,423
- Points
- 343
- Location
- Hurn dorset
- First Name
- Shaun
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
- Messages
- 1,646
- Reaction score
- 6,423
- Points
- 343
- Location
- Hurn dorset
- First Name
- Shaun
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
- Messages
- 165
- Reaction score
- 365
- Points
- 113
- Location
- Land of the Prince Bishops
- First Name
- Ian
- Elgrand
- Looking to buy
- Region
- North East
Borrowed from elsewhere.
A small-town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighbouring farm was giving birth.
He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales.
The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz.
A small-town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighbouring farm was giving birth.
He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales.
The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz.
- Messages
- 993
- Reaction score
- 3,533
- Points
- 333
- Location
- Redcar North Yorkshire
- First Name
- George
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
A patient ran away from a mental health facility and hid in a laundry in the nearby village.
He surprised two women who worked there who were getting their overalls off after a day's work and had his wicked way with them.
Realising he was now in serious trouble he made a run for it to the nearby forest.
The headline in the Local Paper the next day read - "Nut screws washers and bolts.!
He surprised two women who worked there who were getting their overalls off after a day's work and had his wicked way with them.
Realising he was now in serious trouble he made a run for it to the nearby forest.
The headline in the Local Paper the next day read - "Nut screws washers and bolts.!